Viktoria in Berdychiv

We have successfully moved to another region. We are now in Berdychiv in the Zhytomir region. We left Kiev at 7:15am and travelled 180 km to Berdychiv. We went directly to the local social workers office. Berdychiv is a smaller, less populated and less modern area than Kiev. The social workers office looked a lot like an older, 1960-1970 elementary school... particularly the principle's office. I spent some time there as a kid in the 70's so I guess that is why I am reminded of that. There was a woman in an office who then was joined by a man. Neither one of them spoke to us, other than to say something that appeared to be like good morning. Our interpreter/advocate (Koystya) talked with them for 30 seconds and the female social worker put on her coat and we headed out. She looked a lot like Little Red Riding Hood in the Shrek movie and video game. She was young and cute carrying her purse and I expected that she would start throwing apples from her "basket" at any moment. We walked, briskly... everyone appears to walk very fast here. Maybe we are just fat and slow. The social worker got in the van in the front seat with the driver and Koystya -- all three in the front seat. There was an entire row behind us. There are many cultural differences that simply make Valerie and I smile and shrug. When I say we went directly to the orphanage, what I mean is, they (the three of them) consulted amongst themselves and their smart phones and a gentleman who was walking by on the dirt road, and we made our way to the orphanage "directly". We walked through a large dirt field with some old deteriorating buildings on either side. This was the orphanage grounds. There were no children out playing, but there was/is a playground. Actually, there were a few play areas with little things for kids to do. We learned later that they try to take the children out twice a day, but if it is raining or snowing or "too chilly" then they will keep them inside. We went inside and the only two people that we saw appeared to be a handyman or janitor of sorts and a cleaning lady... or so they appeared. Koystya knocked and entered "the office". We were ushered in and greeted by the director. She and Koystya talked Russian for a bit. Then another lady walked in. We were told that this lady was the "speech therapist". So, the Director, the speech therapist, Little Red Riding Hood, Koystya and Valerie and I were all in this office. They asked us the basic small talk type of questions that we have come to believe are "normal". Also, "normal" is showing our passports. They asked us why we wanted to adopt, especially since we already have three children. Then they began to tell us about Viktoria. The Director read from her file and the speech therapist gave her opinion about her behavior and development. They informed us that Viktoria was a "cutie pie", but. From there, there was a list of but... We learned their opinion about all sorts of things. I had done some reading about different conditions that would be consistent with the information we were given previously. I "researched" several things that would produce the symptoms that MIGHT lead them to the "diagnosis" that we were given for her. So, I began to ask them questions that would help me to know if she might have one of those conditions. After a few questions the director showed some concern that maybe they should not even show us the child if we had so many concerns about her medical condition. I will add to this. right now we are leaving to go visit with her again for an hour. More later. OK...OK... We are back. So, the information that they initially gave us as to her medical history was all wrong. After meeting Viktoria at the very first second, she gave us a big smile. She gave me a hug and sat up in my lap. The "research" that I had done on the medical diagnosis codes that we were given pointed to agnosia and/or aprosodia -- neurological conditions that are characterized by the inability to express or perceive emotion, body language, intonation. The director had told us that she lacked emotion. At our meeting, when asked directly, they told us that she did smile, but not at the appropriate times. Just a meaningless smile. Well, that is a total crock. After 30 seconds, she would smile and laugh in response to our smiles and tickles and bouncing on my knee. They also informed us that she did not make sounds, except when she would cry. But we found that she did make sounds and she was certainly able to hear and was clearly inquisitive about her surroundings and the people. It was encouraging. Viktoria took our hands and walked us down the hallway. She put out her hands for us to pick her up and play with her. We walked and talked with her (talked to her) for about 30 minutes, then we were asked to make some sort of a decision. Three choices: 1. Tell them we are not interested (three other couples have visited her and declined) 2. Ask for more time with her. We are able to visit for an hour to 1.5 hours twice a day at specific times. 3. Ask to begin the adoption process The man at the social workers office informed us (through Koystya) that the orphanage will often make the conditions seem worse to discourage adoption, so that they will not lose the funding for one less child... so, some of the pieces started to make more sense. We chose option number two. We secured a hotel room for about $25 per night that is a five minute walk to the orphanage. We will visit her twice a day. She is very sweet. We went to visit her after her nap today. We spent from 4:30 to 5:30 just interacting and playing with her. I took some pictures and a couple of videos. It was a sweet time. In the next blog I will share those pics and maybe I can figure out if it is possible to post a video. And I will update you on our thoughts. *** I have to keep my thoughts segmented or this will all sound like a jumbled mess. There is a lot going on in our heads and hearts. We are emotionally drained. ***