Today we met with the SDA.

I am trying to decide if I should make this a detailed post discussing the process and our feelings or if I should simply "hit the highlights".  For those High D (driver) personalities, I will hit the highlights first and then you (and you know who you are) can stop reading.  The rest of you who are interested can read on.

We met with the SDA
We had folders for 8 or so children to look at, with breif medical histories, a couple of photos and a brief family history.
We chose to accept a referral to meet a girl who is 5 or 6.  Her Ukrainian name is Viktoria. (sp?)
We will pick up the paperwork on Thursday and travel 2.5hrs to the region where the orphanage is located and meet her and meet with her doctors on Friday or Monday (it depends on the working hours of the local government agencies and the orphanage).
From there we will just have to see where the Lord leads us.

High D's can move on now.  Thank you for dropping in.  God bless you.

For the rest of you...

Question:  Do we want a child or children that.... ___________(fill in the blank)___________.
Answer: Selfishly, yes we probably do.

Spiritually correct Answer: Lord we want what you want for us!

Today was not disappointing, but not what we expected.  Right or wrong, we THOUGHT something other than what is/was reality.  We inaccurately believed some things.  We had an unrealistic vision.

Here was reality.  We walked to the SDA ~ about 15min. walk.  We arrived at an old, nondescript building with no signage, no insignia, no "official" markings.  The side of a building had a wooden door with no number, no placard, no sign.  It was open.  there was an indoor stairwell where we waited for ~45min. with our interpreter/advocate.  A woman came out and said something in Russian and we were ushered into a room then through that room into another room where there was a desk and a small table and an L-shaped couch and a wooden chair.  We were asked to sit on the couch around the table, with hand gestures.  The couch was way too low for me to be comfortable.

We had been coached that there would be some questions about our interest in adoption and our biological family, but these questions would serve the purpose of small talk to "break the ice".  And the reality was, they were not so much interested in our answers, or so it appeared to me.  We did not even get to the part about our children.  We were then informed that we had a very narrow approval that would narrow the pool of children that we would have to choose from.  We were not aware that the Ukraine does not allow for healthy international adoption of children under 5.  We also were unaware that our approval was for a 1-2 children ages 0-6.  We believed that we were approved for 1-2 children ages 3-8.  That would have given us more options.  That is a long story... maybe another day.

So, we were left with a 1 year window of children.  This complicated matters as most, if not ALL of the children (folders) we were given to view were "special needs".  Apparently Ukrainian people are culturally intolerant of special needs children, so the governmental agencies reserve the "healthy", younger children for the Ukrainian citizens who wish to adopt.

So, we looked at folders of children with Downs Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and Brain Damage... all of them.  However we got here, we know that God has led us here at this moment, with this set of children for a reason.  We do not know the reason, but we are certain that He has led us here.  All of these children are God's children and deserving of love and a better life.  This is not what we expected.  This is not how we envisioned the process.  We are not suggesting it is wrong or bad in any way, simply not what we expected.   But no surprise to God.

We only had one hour to make some kind of a decision.  So, we had three options and no more time.  Choose an option, your time is almost up.
1.  Apply for another invitation.  Could be next week, could be in a few months.  If next week, there MIGHT, POSSIBLY be some other options as it changes daily, or the options may be the same children or children with the same or similar disabilities.
2.  Redo the paperwork and get approved for a larger pool of children from which to choose. i.e.. older children and/or a larger number of children to include sibling groups of 3 or more.
3.  Choose a child and request a visit with the child at the orphanage where he/she is currently located and visit with some doctors that could explain the child's condition.

or I suppose we could have chosen to scrap the process and make arrangements to come home and forfeit all of the time and money that we have already spent and either start over domestically or with another country or scrap the adoption all together.

So, what do you choose?

We want to be obedient.  We believe that God has led us here to this point for a reason.  We are in Ukraine.  We have cleared our schedules.  We have made arrangements for the kids.  We chose to go and visit a child.

We chose to visit a 5 or 6 yo girl.  We were given a birthdate, but we cannot remember if she was born in 2010 or 2011, or if her birthday was in march or may or september.  I wrote down her name... Viktoria or Victoria.  It was written in Russian.  It looked much like this to me %&^(^%&*@&^%$.
We saw three pictures of her.  In one, she looked much like Valerie when she was 5 or 6 years old.  Blonde hair, thin, standing in that all-to-familiar 1970's kid pose with the living room drapes as a backdrop (the same backdrop most every picture was taken in front of).  The only difference was Viktoria was not smiling.  She was not smiling in any of the three pictures.  (pictures were roughly age 1, age 2 or 3 and somewhat current 5-6).  Not smiling at 1 is maybe expected.  Not smiling at 2-3 maybe common.  Not smiling at any of them, could be a concern... possibly.... given the medical history.

She was diagnosed F70, F88, G93.9, and "flat feet".
F70 -- mentally delayed and/or moderately low i.q.
           apparently most, if not all of these kids get this diagnosis
F88 -- mental deficiency of an emotional nature
           she does not speak
G93.9 -- brain damage of a non traumatic nature of unknown cause or origin.
M21.4 -- flat foot

basically, she does not speak and does not show the emotion that presumably her peers are showing.  There are many difficulties with this "diagnosis".  How and when did they arrive at this diagnosis?  What were the tests and criteria?  We don't know.  There are many unanswered questions.  Including how do we feel about this?  What does God want us to do?  In short, we will figure it out, and make decisions.

This is very long and there is potentially much more to be asked and said.  I think I will leave it here for now.  We will continue to pray through this and we will remain open to the leading of The Holy Spirit.  Thank you for your continued prayers and support.